She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
