I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
