Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
