and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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