your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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