i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
