I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
