And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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