You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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