Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis