Everything about him screamed your future.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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