Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.