I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?