Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize