Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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