i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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