im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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