i was rollin on her like bob the builder
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
