do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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