I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
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I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
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Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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