mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
