Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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