chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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