i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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