We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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