How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We had to coat check the pizza.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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