you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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