porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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