I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
