Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
