it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It was confusing and full of hummus
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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