can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize