the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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