I wannas sexs uuuuu
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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