I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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