She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
