do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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