i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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