i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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