Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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