ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
