My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
