Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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