he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
