Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
