...so i touched it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
