The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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