So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
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Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
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Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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