I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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