just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize