This dress was meant to end up on your floor
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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