You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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