Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There's always time for handjobs
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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