Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
