butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish I could teleport
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
