Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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