im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
