i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
