FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
