it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
