I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
