another moral hangover. fuck.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize