I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
