i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
